How to Remain Calm When Shit Hits the Fan
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Hi Friends,
Ever had a week that is thrown into chaos on Monday morning? Those weeks test our executive function skills…and our sanity.
Emotional regulation and flexible thinking are my weakest executive function skills. And last week, they were put to the test. Shit hit the fan on Sunday night and that fan didn't stop spinning until Friday evening.
But while the week was stressful, I’m proud of how I handled it.
So today, I am sharing a strategy to manage those weeks when “shit hits the fan”.
Let’s dive in.
I Thought I Was on Top of Things
On Sunday afternoon, I looked at the week ahead. I knew it would be a busy one so I blocked off time to write this newsletter. The week looked overwhelming, but I felt confident that I could get everything done.
But, things didn’t go as planned.
Before heading out to a concert on Sunday night, I discovered my car battery was dead. With no time to sort it out, I hopped in my wife’s car and enjoyed the show. On the drive, I couldn’t shake the stress building in the back of my mind.
How would I manage to fix my car, write the newsletter, tackle my inbox, and be prepared for client sessions the next day?
Stress turned to panic, which turned to anxiety. I wasn’t handling it with calm or grace.
On Monday morning, reality set in. There was no way I could get everything done.
After jump-starting my car, I realized I needed to sit with the engine running for 15 minutes and take a 30-minute drive to charge the battery.
Remember that writing block on my calendar? Well, goodbye, writing time!
As I drove around, wishing I could be at my desk, I remembered a lesson from a book I’m reading, 4,000 Weeks, Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman: we can’t always do everything on our to-do list.
On days like this, we need to choose what NOT to do and be okay with it.
It’s not about maximizing productivity or checking off every item. It’s about staying calm, prioritizing, and accepting that some things won’t get done.
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When Life Throws You Off Track, Practice Flexible Thinking
When shit hits the fan, trying to push through the original plan isn’t effective. Instead, we need to be flexible and creative thinkers.
Executive function skills like flexible thinking and emotional regulation are key.
My mantra last week was three words:
Pause.
Re-evaluate.
Adapt.
This is how I remain calm when shit hits the fan.
How to Remain Calm When Shit Hits the Fan
Pause and Take a Breath
When your plans are disrupted, the first step is to pause. Then, regulate your emotions with a breathwork strategy. Calming our minds creates space to think clearly and executive the next step.
I did two rounds of box breathing and reminded myself that I'm lucky to own a car.
Identify Your Number One Priority
Determine the task that is most critical at the moment, even if it wasn’t part of your original plan.
I used the Eisenhower Matrix to clarify my priority for Monday: fix my car.
Delegate, Delete, or Reschedule
Postpone or eliminate tasks that aren’t urgent. This will free up some time.
Next, communicate your new plans with others. This step is key, especially if something must be postponed, handed off, or removed entirely.
On Tuesday I told Sean I wouldn’t have time to update the “About Us” section of our website.
Execute on Your Number One Priority
Focus on that one task from step 2 and give it your best.
I drove my car for 30 minutes, ensuring it would work when I needed it later in the week.
Acknowledge Your Effort
Recognize that you’re handling a tough situation as best as you can. Take pride in your ability to adapt. Flexible thinking is a skill worth celebrating.
I’m proud of how I handled the week. I fixed my car, finished this newsletter, and still made time to surf in the morning.
Summary
When life derails your best-laid plans, you can use flexible thinking to pause, prioritize, and adapt.
If shit hits the fan, be flexible. Emphasize managing your stress, prioritizing intentionally, and giving yourself credit for adapting to what life throws at you.
Here’s how you can manage those weeks when shit hits the fan:
Pause and take a breath
Identify your number one priority
Delegate, delete, or reschedule
Execute on your number one priority
Acknowledge your effort.
We all have rough weeks. That's life. I hope this framework helps.
P.S.
If you want to work on your adult executive function skills, consider joining dozens of others who graduated from our Adult Executive Function Skills 101 course. This course teaches you skills to strengthen your time management, personal finances, and more. Learn more.
About the Author
Eric Kaufmann, M.Ed is a Professional Educational Therapist and Certified Executive Function Coach. He is the Co-founder of UpSkill Specialists, an online adult executive function coaching company designed to guide adults in overcoming disorganization, procrastination, and productivity roadblocks so they can unlock their potential. Eric is also the founder of Elevate Learning Solutions, an Educational Therapy practice located in San Clemente, CA, that guides students with neurological differences toward becoming independent and confident students and self-leaders.