How to Escape The Productivity Trap as a Neurodivergent Adult
Updated: 6 days ago
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Hi Friend,
Imagine this: Monday starts with high hopes. You’ve time-blocked your entire day down to the minute, convinced this will be the week you finally stay on top of everything.
But, as the day ends, your to-do list and stress levels only increase. 🌡️
Negative self talk, defeat, and overwhelm fill your body as you belittle yourself for being unproductive.
I've been there. I'd tell myself...
"If I just worked hard enough, planned well enough, and improved my executive function skills, I’d eventually reach a day when I felt done."
Done with email.
Done organizing the house.
Done with all of my responsibilities.
Then, I'd finally be able to enjoy some free time.
But, that day never came.
Now, I realize no matter how much I accomplish, my to-do list fills back up. I finish one project only to remember five more things I “should” do. Instead of feeling productive, I felt like I was failing.
Last month, I made a change. I reframed my mindset and started to let go of those
unrealistic expectations.
Today, I want to teach you what I’ve learned.
Let’s dive in.
The Productivity Trap
Many neurodivergent adults, especially those with ADHD, fall into the productivity trap.
It’s the belief that if we strengthen our executive function skills enough, we’ll reach a magical point where everything gets done daily.
If we master time management, our to-do list will finally be manageable.
If we plan just right, our schedule will run smoothly, and we’ll move through our day effortlessly.
If we improve our focus, we’ll finish everything without distractions or delays.
But no amount of planning, optimizing, or self-discipline will ever eliminate the fact that there will always be more to do.
And when we hold ourselves to impossibly high standards (expecting perfect executive function and complete control over our time) we set ourselves up for disappointment.
The moment we fall behind or forget something, it reinforces the feeling that we’re failing.
Why Neurodiverse Adults Feel Like They're Not Productive
For neurodiverse adults, like those with ADHD, managing executive function challenges isn’t easy. Most books and strategies we read are designed for neurotypical people. We often fall into the productivity trap when we attempt to implement them.
The most common mistakes neurodivergent adults make are:
Overloading our schedule
Believing we can (or should) fit everything in. This looks like trying to squeeze in laundry and the gym amongst back-to-back meetings and picking up the kids from school.
Chasing the “perfect” system
Changing planners, apps, and methods, hoping to find the one that finally makes us feel in control. Unfortunately, it's unlikely that a new planner or to-do list app will make you more productive.
Beating ourselves up
Instead of recognizing that our list was unrealistic from the start, we tell ourselves...
"I wasted so much time.”
“I should have tried harder."
"I’m just not disciplined enough."
4 Tips to Escape the Productive Trap
Instead of trying to conquer the never-ending list, escape the productivity trap by trying this:
Tip #1: Accept the reality
There will always be more to do than time to do it. This isn’t a failure, it’s just life. Letting go of the belief that you should finish everything can be freeing.
How to do it: Go for a short walk or do some breathwork while reminding yourself there's more to life than checking off to-dos.
Tip #2: Delete some tasks
Look at your to-do list and delete at least one thing from it. Permit yourself to let go.
How to do it: Ask yourself, "What won’t truly matter a week from now?" Then, cross off those tasks.
Tip #3: Say “no” more often
Decline the extra meeting. Reschedule the lunch invite if your schedule is too packed. Protect your time.
How to do it: Ask yourself, "does my entire body say, 'yes!' to this?" If not, I politely pass.
Tip #4: Reclaim moments of joy
This is a tough one for adults with ADHD, but it's the most important tip. Acknowledging small victories or happy moments in our day is best done in reflection.
How to do it: Set a reminder for your lunch break titled, "What am I grateful for today?" Then, think of one small thing and smile.
Summary
Remember, your self worth isn't tied to how productive you are.
The constant pursuit of productivity perfection leads to frustration and burnout. Instead of trying to “finish everything,” there's a better approach:
accept that some tasks won’t get done (that's OKAY!)
delete unnecessary items from your to-do list
say no more often
intentionally make space for things that bring joy.
So, take a deep breath, cross something off your list on purpose, and reclaim a moment for yourself.
In service,
Eric
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About the Author
Eric Kaufmann is a Professional Educational Therapist and Certified Executive Function Coach. He is the Co-founder of UpSkill Specialists, an online adult executive function coaching company that guides adults in overcoming disorganization, procrastination, and productivity roadblocks so they can unlock their potential. He is also the founder of Elevate Learning Solutions, an Educational Therapy practice located in San Clemente, CA, that supports neurodivergent students in becoming independent and confident.